My Story

Okay, so I didn't have the wittiest title out there, but I do want to share my story.  I don't think we will venture too far back, but we will go back to my highest weight.

2008 After Delivery and December 2016

On April 21, 2008 I had my last prenatal visit before my son arrived.  At that visit I weighed in at 297 pounds.  Taking into account that I gave birth to an eight-and-a-half pound baby, along with all the other gross stuff that was involved in pregnancy and taking up space, I still weighed more than I ever had in my life.  When I went home from the hospital 5 days after delivery, I still weighed just under 280.  I was on a high from being a new mom, but it didn't take long to start seeing in the mirror how unhealthy I was.  Thanks to the wonderful world of breastfeeding, I did drop some weight, but I pretty consistently stayed between 255-275 pounds at all times.  In 2011, I gave birth to my daughter.  She died 40 minutes after she was born, and I (understandably) sank into a deep depression.  The circumstances around her birth and death are quite extreme and detailed, so I won't go into them in this post, but the time that followed had me diagnosed with severe depression, PTSD and bipolar disorder.  Quite honestly, for about a year and a half I just existed.  I didn't care much about my own health as a diabetic, nor did I care about what I was putting into my body.

In 2012, I decided to go back to school.  After two semesters of anatomy courses, I started seeing what I was doing to my body - slowly killing it.  I decided to join a gym and make the commitment to go and work out 3 days a week doing HIIT weight lifting circuits.  Before too much time had passed, I started to see some major changes in my body.  I might not have lost much weight, but the inches were melting off and I felt so much better.

Since that time, I have tried to make working out part of my life.  Over the last year and a half, I spent approximately 10 months out of the gym.  About a month ago, I decided to go back and to really be serious about making a lifestyle change.  My surviving child has high functioning autism and was born with a brain malformation.  He requires now, and will likely continue to require, a great deal of help on my part and on the part of those in my family and his school.  I hate to say it this way, but I literally woke up one day and realized that if I didn't take care of myself, there might no longer be someone around to take care of  HIM.  I quite honestly just decided in a single moment that the life I was living wasn't the best life I could have and that I was the only one who could change it.  It hit me like a ton of bricks, and I haven't looked back in that month's time.

1. I started hitting the gym at least 6 days a week.  Two to three days a week are purely cardio, but the other 4 days are a combination of fat burning sessions and weights. 
2.  I completely cut out sodas.  Being a diabetic, I always believed I was doing better for myself if I drank diet sodas.  Let me tell you what.  I didn't realize how much sodium I was consuming in a day, and after 3 and a half weeks of almost no soda (yes, I slipped up a few times) I am pretty much convinced that I was showing signs of aspartame poisoning.
3. I found accountability.  By way of instagram, personal contacts who I have friendships with, and even with my own son, I have found numerous avenues of accountability and encouragement that keep me going on the days I don't feel much like making the trek to the gym.
4. I focus on full body health, including my emotional, spiritual and mental states.  My cousin, who has pretty much become my life coach right now, suggested that rather than always listening to music, I try listening to self-help books on audible while I worked out.  I started "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale this week, and I'm astonished at the difference it has already made.  I fully believe that our bodies cannot be in alignment with what we hope for physically without a makeover and renewing of our emotional, mental and spiritual states as well.  

(I plan to have follow up posts on each of these areas talking about details of workouts, accountability groups and ideas, and self-enrichment programs, books and support groups.)

Now, we'll fast forward to now.  I was hired for a new job and had to use my specific body measurements for my uniforms.  I took my measurements on December 3rd, and the last recorded measurements I have were from mid-summer of last year.  When I compared the two, I was down 14.5 inches in about a year and a half.  Now, remember, I had been out of the gym for about 10 of those 18 months.  Earlier that same week, I had cut out sodas.  I drank nothing but tea or fruit infused water for the next week and in a moment of boredom, I retook my measurements on the 11th.  I was completely shocked to see that I was down another 5.5  inches in that eight day period of time.  I realized the majority was water weight, but to say it wasn't motivating would be a complete lie.  

I have goals set for four different points over the next 6 months (again, another post), and have already met a few of the goals I had set ahead of schedule.  I have a long way to go, but I am really, really proud of how far I have come.  I'm currently down 72 pounds from my highest weight and wearing the same size of clothing I wore my senior year of high school.  I am 25 pounds under the weight I was on my wedding day.  I'm gaining my life back, one moment at a time.